You may have it all – love, ambitions and happiness, but can you still want more?
Relationships can face their ups and downs, and it’s easy to get yourself caught up with feelings for someone else sometimes. You end up hating on yourself for feeling disloyal, but at the same time it’s a refreshing feeling to get the butterflies about something (or rather, someone) again… ring any bells?
Being in the happiest and most committed of relationships can make the strongest foundations, but it doesn’t blind you or totally switch off all of your instincts. Having these minor feelings for another person doesn’t need to mean anything – it can just be a small crush. Now we all know how futile crushes can be, just think back to being young when you would literally form a new crush weekly, it doesn’t mean anything deeper.
Lots of crushes that people develop are based on the fantasy of it, which then gets glamorised in ours heads and can get carried away in our heads. Whether you’re sat on the train next to a Ryan Gosling lookalike, or you’ve started actually brushing your hair before the gym in case “the hot one” is there again, all those feels are developed from a fantasy. He might look like the definition of perfection, but other than that what do you know about him? On the flip side, you are with your partner because he ticks every box – not just the one about looks.
Sometimes crushes can actually show us the signs of improvements. If you’re forming crushes regularly or comparing them to your own relationship then maybe it’s a sign that you aren’t fully satisfied and something needs improving. Maybe you’ve become too complacent, you’ve taken the fun out of the relationship, or you’ve just become a bit distracted lately. Whatever it may be, don’t be so hard on yourself and see if it signals something you can do to improve your relationship – you’ll be glad you had your little crush afterwards.
For some, knowing that their partner thought another woman was attractive might be a cause for an argument – but surely you yourself admire people you pass? There’s no harm in admiration, and that’s all a crush is essentially.
A crush is just a crush, it doesn’t necessarily carry any emotional weight and so it doesn’t always have to mean anything. Even a strong relationship will face challenges, and it will withstand them. A fantasy crush may come your way now and then, but just inject some realism to appreciate the love you already have and to understand that the crush is nothing more. We can’t always help our hearts, we’re only human.